Thoughts: Kurama
by Sano
Summary: Sequel to my other fic 'Thoughts' but now from Kurama's POV.Shounen ai


Thoughts: Kurama

By: Sano

Disclaimer: YYH doesn't belong to me and never will. So don't sue me. 

Note: Since people said that I should make a sequel I did. Oh and this fic is shounen ai. Don't like guys liking each other more than friends? I suggest you don't read this. 

*^^*

I stared at the window as the night breeze ruffled the light blue curtains my mother bought me.

I could feel tears prickling at the back of my eyelids as I swallowed hard.

What just happened?

Oh yeah. I just deliberately confessed my feelings to the one I love. But what did I get? 

A flat out rejection.

It's not like I expected an undying declaration of love from Hiei. I thought that…maybe I had a space in Hiei's heart. But I was wrong.

I was the only one who could tease Hiei without getting killed. Well, he does call me 'Stupid fox' sometimes. But still, he doesn't punch me like he does when Yuusuke and Kuwabara do. 

Or I'm the only one who could heal his injuries without getting incinerated. Yukina heals him too. But he was his sister!!

I fisted a hand in my hair. A strand fell and landed in front of my face and I stared at it. Blood red. Red, like Hiei's eyes.

I didn't know when I fell in love with this youkai. 

I could clearly remember when we first met. I was about ten years old then and I was with a friend, Maya. Hiei mistook me for one of Yatsude's minions. We fought and eventually, I defeated Hiei. And when I discovered Yatsude kidnapped Maya. I joined forces with Hiei and defeated Yatsude.

A tear strolled down my cheek as the memories flooded back. I wiped it away roughly away with my hand and I lay down on the bed. 

Then, when Hiei came back. He asked me to join him and another companion of his in stealing the Reikai artifacts. Since my mother caught an illness that didn't have a cure, I was greatly relieved when Hiei said I could use the mirror of utter darkness to wish for a cure for my mother's illness. 

I owe my mother, Shiori, so much. Since I fled the Makai and went to Ningenkai to look for a womb to settle on. And I found Shiori. I couldn't have looked for any other womb then. Shiori taught me so much. 

Though she was weak. She managed to make me trust her with all my heart and soul. Before, I wouldn't even consider trusting one of my own kind, much less a weak human. 

She taught me feelings that I never knew I could feel. She taught me how to feel sympathy, to care, and to love.

To love.

An emotion I treasured so much before now made me hurt like nothing else before. I loved Hiei so much that it hurts me to see him but not to be able to show my feelings for him openly. 

Before I always thought that my attraction for Hiei was only teenage hormones and that it was just a passing phase. But it wasn't. It grew until I finally admitted to myself that I loved that small rotten-tempered youkai. 

Before, after I cure Hiei's injuries and I would take his clothes to wash them. I would first breathe in the scent that clung to them. The scent of pine trees and mixed with the scent of sweat that was clearly Hiei.

Then I would watch him while he was sleeping peacefully. His face free of the impassive mask he always used when he was awake. 

I wanted so much to break all those emotional barriers that Hiei built around himself. A single half-smile made me weak in the knees. I was always delighted when Hiei refused to talk to our other companions because he preferred talking to me. Only Yukina and me were allowed to take care of him.

But obviously, I failed to break those barriers. And now Hiei was gone. And he won't come back ever again. I won't be able to see him again.

The thought made my heart clench painfully and I pressed a hand to it to ease the pain. Tears were now steaming uncontrollably down my cheeks and I didn't make any move to stop it. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come. 

*^Owari^*

Bwahahahahahaha!!! I finally finished the sequel!! (Though it really isn't, just from a different POV) This is just crap I needed to get out of my yaoi-infused brain. I just love torturing them ne? 

Please review!!


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